I DID A COVER VIDEO I DID A COVER VIDEO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKYxE6h6MX4  <<< that there is it. You and I by Ingrid Michaelson.

Pleease please watch those few of you who ever look at this blog. It sure would mean a lot :)


Here- maybe this will motivate you

It's a tiny frazzled mouse.



squeak.

Day 13- Ooh.

So today I cleaned my room. Oh my gosh it's so wonderful and clean and crisp and it makes me so much more relaxed. The reason I cleaned it though....is because I was having a boy over.
     
I really thought I liked this guy, but then I pretty much imagined up everything that I thought he was going to be like. So I really don't think I like this guy.

I marveled at the weather again today. I just keep laughing and spinning and running and jumping around because I love it so much and it just puts me in such a grand mood. We'll see how it does tomorrow...but Maybe school won't even be that bad!

I have a math test tomorrow and I'm really freaking out and I think I'll go study some more now.

And so I bid you, ado.

Night! <3

Day 12- "I'm not dead" or "Let's romp"

                    I believe in my last post that I did mention that I probably wouldn't be able to post for the whole of last week because it was tech week for the musical, and I would be getting home around 10 and then doing homework and such. And I was correct. But! Tech week is over and I have at least a little bit of time now. I definitely had time today.
                       What I did today, was this. So first I went over to my best friend Megan's house to help her get ready for a date. Not just any date though, her first date. She, naturally, was freaking out. I curled her hair and did her makeup and helped pick out what she was going to wear... it was super cute, actually. I felt like she was my little sister. I was so happy for her and like, " Oh look at her going off with that boy, how cute "
     And then, once I sent her off on her way (to the movie theater) I went home. And It was just so dang nice out. I love love love this weather! It feels like spring and it's making me unbelievably happy.

 So naturally, I went out and romped.

This is it! My happy tree!

                 I put on one of my dresses, that makes me feel like a fairy, and ran outside and blasted good music and ran around and twirled and jumped and I swung on the swings. I was flying. That's what it felt like. I hadn't been on the swings in at least half a year ..maybe even a whole year. And it's one of those moments where you don't realize how much you've missed something until you do it. And I was just swingin', and my hair was flying out behind me and the breeze was blowing in my face, and I could see my bare feet illuminated in the sun every time I swung forward...I think I literally said out loud. "I wish this moment could go on forever." And that's what warm weather does to me. It gives me moments like those.
                It was the greatest. I was so giddy, I kept laughing at nothing, just blissful laughter. And I stuck this tree shaped stick in the ground and decorated it with jewelry and ribbon and flowers and stuff, and I made it my happy tree. I love trees.  Then I went inside and ate a bunch of food. (Healthy food!) and man oh man does food make me happy.

It's just the little things.


Goodnight. :)

Day 5- Sex

First, here is my picture of today. I technically took it yesterday but I was arranging pictures today, plus I really liked this round and I wanted to put more than one of this on this here blog so :)

This honestly has no real meaning, it's just some thistles. But they're very photogenic thistles aren't they.

                   I also went on a lovely outing today with my friend Brandon. We went downtown and ate at a very fancy restaurant, and looked at shops for a bit. (I BOUGHT TWO NEW PAIRS OF KNEE HIGH SOCKS :D)
                  And then we went and saw a show. "The Legend of Georgia McBride" it was called...and oh my...it was just wonderful. It's about an Elvis impersonator who has to give up his job doing that, and instead fill in for a drag queen. And then he ends up liking drag and stuff, pretty common ending thing. But, can I just say, I love drag. I honestly do, it's one of my favorite things to watch! It just is so intriguing to me, and how it amuses me so. Not amuses as in, it makes me laugh, but it genuinely just makes me happy and entertained when watching stuff like that. Maybe it's because all the girls are always so expression and risque and over the top and sparkly. Yeah that's actually definitely it. I would like to befriend every guy who does drag in the world. They're just SO flamboyant, I think that I would just love to be friends with them so much. It reminded me of my mission to go to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I love everything about that movie.I would love love to help reinact it, I would be Janet in. a. heart. beat.

                     It's so funny... I can be very demure and proper at times, and I like to carry myself as a lady. And be treated and thought of as a lady. Someone who "must always wear pearls to the theater" and won't chew with her mouth open because "it's not lady-like" and someone who stays away from vulgar things. Also someone a bit more...wisely innocent. I know what things are but I choose not to do them because I have too much self-respect and class. But deep deeeep deep deep down, there's this really kinky bad girl side to me. I'm telling you too much aren't I...oh well. I just feel that I've never really had the opportunity to do anything provocative, but the thing is is that I would have to do it theatrically. In my own skin, being Taylor, I would not show anyone my bra or anything like that unless I completely completely trusted them and knew them for a great amount of time. However, the Taylor on stage, who has to lap dance on a man, or strip while singing a sultry number....she's just a-okay with doing that. My stage persona is much more scandalous. I think that's really fun.


Alright people. I'm going to bed now. I may actually not write anything this next week because we are having tech week and that goes until 9 so we'll see. I'll try to make a point of remembering.

                                                            Okay night.

Day 4- Numb

        I'm talking to nobody, huh. I know. I know that this isn't getting read at all...but honestly, I don't care all that much! I feel that I may be writing this just for myself. It lets me talk to myself without sounding crazy. It's like writing in a diary. Which I do too...however, this has more of an initiative. To know that MAYBE one person is reading my words.

I took more pictures of my feet.

         Anyway. I took more pictures today! Gosh, I love it so much. I can't wait until spring though, when I can start using models and such. That's when it really gets fun. :) So, I've been looking at my old pictures a lot recently...and...it's just so different now. It's so funny how time passes. How you look in the mirror everyday and you don't see anything different...that's just how you look. And then one day, BAM, you look in the mirror and you're 80. But you never actually witnessed yourself growing old. I don't like to think about being 80...it scares me a lot. Because who know's what I'll be like when I'm 80! I'm so so afraid that I will have not really lived...and given in to all the pressure that society and parents and the education system puts on us. That's why it's so difficult for me now, to stay under that pressure. Because one sure fire way for you to not have it on you is to step out from under that god forsaken rock. If only it was as easy as that though.


          I painted my nails today as well. Or at least one hand for now, I'll do the other tomorrow. What I did was galaxy art on all of my fingers except the middle, and on that one I painted a tiny picture of my cats face. I'm obsessed with my cat. To the point where it may actually be unhealthy. I was very strongly considering clipping off a tiny piece of his whisker and using it to make tiny tiny whiskers for my nail art cat. And I doodle different scenarios for him to be in while I'm supposed to be paying attention in class. I just kind of keep those things so myself though, so I don't have to worried about being whisked away by the Cat Protection Agency.

 Alright. I have to go. Honestly the main reason is because I've had to pee ever since I started to type this post and I just can't hold it any longer.

So! Goodnight dear imaginary people. :)

Day 2- Remembrance

      So today I...well as you know, went to school. And then rehearsal.

                   The end.

Just kidding. After I got home I went outside and took pictures! I'm doing a project in English and we decided to take pictures of "solitude". I did very snowy ones. And I think I captured it as well as anyone could when only given one and a half days to do so.
   I hadn't taken pictures in ages. I mean...it's been so long. I really hadn't realized just how much I miss it.




Day 3- Paths
           I totally didn't finish yesterdays' post. I was writing it and it was like 1 in the morning and I guess I fell asleep. Well there's some of it. Today we had the full run through for Bye Bye Birdie, and I have to say, I did a mighty fine job. I practiced really hard last night, and my director actually was very impressed, and I was thinking she'd be pretty pissed for doing something a bit risque (I crawled on the floor like a leopard) so that made me feel much more confident about this whole show in general. Also, in English today I had this HUGE, in depth conversation with a girl named Sammy, who I don't usually talk to. But today we went off on this rant about how corrupted our education system and society is, and how often people are taught to give up their individuality. And it's just so cool because, she has the exact same beliefs as I do and we spent more than an hour just talking about everything and the world and we never had really talked before, and I mean, how was I to know that she was so similar to me?? Well I'm glad we had that discussion. It lightened my mood a great deal. It's so nice when you are reminded that you aren't alone. I think it makes my beliefs firmer. It tells me....it's like the universe is telling me, "Right. You're on the right path. Don't forget about it. Don't let other things take it away from you."

Day One (The real one)

Aha!! See! I told you! I said that I would do it and now look! Here I am. Doin it. Hah.

Alright. Day One (The real one)

So today I got up, and went to school as per usual. I'm really not going to tell you about my day at school because literally everyday is exactly the same. I feel as if everyday I think, "Today will be different!" Everyday it's not though. Yes, different conversations happen...different subjects learned. But it all blends into a huge sea of words and voices and useless information. The laughter, I keep for myself. The laughter that I've saved from all my days, is my boat. It's what is making me sail on top of the pointless and disheartening nonsense. Without it I would be swept away and eventually just sink into a never ending vast darkness. Thank God for laughter.

I played ukulele a lot. I put it away for a bit but then a few days ago I picked it back up again and I forgot how much I love playing. So I've been doing that and in turn, I think that it is making me less stressed out.

However, on that note, I'm going to go to sleep. No sleep causes more stress, more stress causes less sleep. It's a never ending cycle. And I'm not going to begin it! So!
       
Fare the well, good readers. (What few of you that are actually reading this)

Till morn.


P.S. I know the picture resolution is really awful! I had to use my iPod camera because my real one isn't in my possession currently.

Okay

                  I know. I'm awful. You probably hate me now, right. It's okay. I've been so busy...with play rehearsal and homework and sleep. I promise promise promise. PROMISE. That I will o this picture tomorrow. I'm starting it. It'll help me, right? Help me stay organized and able to do things regularly. I'll do it.

It's happening people. It's happening.

And so it begins once again.

               So, yes. The 365 photo a day challenge didn't really happen...I'm well aware. But you know what? I'm going to start it again. I refuse to give up on it entirely. That is not the person that I am! So, here we go again. Maybe, MAYBE this time I will actually get it...we will just have to see I suppose.

        Day 1: I don't have a picture for today, only because I completely forgot about this whole thing up until a half hour ago, but I will still describe my day. So the Superbowl was today, which really was of no matter to me...football is not my thing, no sir. I stayed downstairs for moral support from my presence, and spent a little bit of time playing the most aggravating game in all of history. Flappy Bird. Whew. I'm actually really good at it, my high score is 130 and the world record high score is 140 so hah. But I'm done with it. I deleted it because it's complete  and utter nonsense to get so worked up and spend so much time focusing on a simple game.
             I also channeled my inner crafty mom earlier tonight and made myself a pair of suspenders that I attached onto my skirt. I have to say I was extremely proud, but to be honest, it wasn't a surprise to me. I have very good luck when it comes to making my ideas reality. That's a very good trait though, don't you think? I really don't have anymore clothes that I want. ( Well with the exception of odd-patterned dresses, because I can never have enough of those guys.) I'm pretty excited to go to school simply for that reason. That I have all these wonderful unique outfits that I will get to wear. Dressing oddly is really one of the main things that keeps me from not being depressed at school. It seems silly doesn't it. But clothes can really do that! It's like...something that separates me from everyone else. I feel that it lets me express how different I am from everyone else. It keeps my hopes up because I think it makes me closer to discovering something wonderful and special that changes my life. I know...it's a bit far fetched. But that's how I live.
         
             Okay, I'm exhausted. I'm going to go to bed now. I will see you tomorrow- with a picture!        
                                                                                                           Goodnight.

Day 4- Meet the Fockers...but not really

        My boyfriend came over today and met my grandparents and my sister and we all played games. It was wonderful, he fits in perfectly. I was very content the whole night. New subject though, on the downside, I'm feeling very sicky. My throat is sore and I have nasty mucus, and my head feels as if it might implode at any minute. Therefore, this is all I'm going to write. I'm going to bed.

                                            Goodnight internet.

I cleaned my room for the occasion...except I didn't put my damn socks away.

P.S. Still wearing the sweater
P.P.S Still using my webcam as a camera

Day 3- A love

                    I know it's not technically still 11/26/13 but whatever, it is in my head. I stay up late. But! Yes, today I went to Buffalo Exchange. Holy. Shit. I was in love. Literally, I didn't even know what to do with myself...it was like...being in a room full of the hottest male celebrities in all of history...I was just so overwhelmed. I couldn't take everything in, and I loved each and every article of clothing I lad my eyes on. I was on the verge of having a panic attack...or throwing up...or crying...or screaming...or having an orgasm. All at once.
                   And oh my lord, I met a side of me I didn't even know I ha- just kidding I totally know I do this. I was prepared to fight to the death to get anything I wanted. It was like the fucking Hunger Games up in there. The moment I walked in this wave came over me, and everyone became an enemy...and my first instinct? Kill. It felt like that store was a giant closet of every single piece of clothing I could ever want, and it was all mine. MY imaginary clothes store. And anyone buying it was stealing it from me.

Yes, I covered myself in a pile of recently bought clothes.
Laugh away.

                 Like picture...a giant kitten. Wrapped around a cube of cheese. And mice keep squeezing in between the kitten paws and grabbing a piece of cheese and running out. And the kitten just gets angrier and angrier, and every time it turns to look at a mouse running away after having, moments before, stolen the cheese...a new mouse runs up behind it and steals another. That's what it felt like. But! In the end I bought a multitude of outfits, and walked out of that dream-closet, very content. (Mostly due to the fact that I suppressed my urge to kill anyone who even looked at me the wrong way) By the way...in case you were wondering, I am still wearing my sweater.


Update: 
Camera status: Battery still on the run. Search parties still looking.
Sweater count: 4 days

Day 2- A sad day

                So, yes. I am aware that I didn't post a photo for yesterday. My camera has decided to rid itself of the remaining battery power, and my camera charger has regrettably decided to hide from me. So we are of to a GRAND start now aren't we? I will try to find it today and hopefully I can post a picture tonight. As far as yesterday....lets pretend that there was a photo for that day, and I'll just describe it right now.

               " Day 2- Grandparents" My grandparents flew in last night from the lovely state of Virginia, in order to celebrate the great day of thanks with us on Thursday. My grandfather is quite the eccentric man, and he entertained all of us last night until we were all dozing off every time there was an iota of a pause in between words. What a lovely week this will be."

Day 1- Yesterday

 

                      I went thrift shopping today and bought this lovely sweater. It's completely giant on me but that is the sole reason that I got it. I brought out my vintage side- I read my current book, "The Book of Lost Things" ( I really do enjoy a good far-fetched fiction novel) and listened to The Beatles. Then I took it back even further, and danced, by myself mind you, to the wonderful Frank Sinatra on vinyl. It was a very stress free and grand day. :)

A Realization

        So, I was reading my old posts...what was my purpose? Why did I post them on a blog, cause I sure as hell wasn't "blogging" You're supposed to actually have a motive right? I totally didn't. Just small anecdotes...musings. But! Now I will. So, what I intend to do...hm.....what do I intend to do. Okay. I am going to do that 365 photo challenge. Everyday, starting today (tonight, whatever) I will take a picture to document said day's events. I will then proceed to post it on here, where all you lovely people will see it.


    I've really never finished anything like this, so we'll give it a go. Maybe just maybe, I'll actually complete it, thus gaining my own worth. Dear Lord help me now.


And so it begins.

                         

                                                                             

                                      A Wish on a Rainy day

       As I was looking out my window, staring at the rain...I saw a peculiarity. A wish! Floating, unscathed, amongst the droplets. A curious thing, the wish. So fragile, and yet it has the unconscious willpower to lead it around each drop-to stay af;oat despite the cascading tears all around it...teasing the gentle thing with the possibility of falling to the earth in a mere second. Beautiful, really. A wish on a rainy day.                                                    

            I asked for this pair of red flats for Christmas last year. I was struggling with depression at the time and quite honestly, I believed I was going insane. But for some peculiar reason, I felt like if I owned a pair of bright red flats, maybe just maybe, I wouldn't be so crazy. Of course this pair of shoes didn't by any means cure me, or change what was going on...but they made me feel different, special. They made me believe that one day, things would be okay. Do not ever criticize anyone on the clothes they wear. It's unfathomable how much they could mean.

       Happiness is just like a balloon. When something gives us joy, our balloon fills up bigger and bigger...and those people that have depression, and who aren't very happy, their balloons have just yet to be filled up. Unfortunately though, every once in a while, a person's balloon will pop. And the happy air will try to fill it up again but it does nothing but blow around the shreds of rubber. Be careful with your balloons, folks. Don't let them pop.

Why does no one write handwritten letters anymore? I think we should bring it back. I know that I have zero followers, and only 30 people have looked at this, but if anyone else see's this...please just write one? Don't you remember what it was like to wait at the mail box, and ask every day, " Do I have mail, do I have mail?" Let's start that up again!!

        I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't have photography to turn to. 

It's so comforting being able to look out of a lens and see the world a different way.

Gunshots and bombs echoed all around him, but Daniel heard nothing. It had happened quickly. He didn't realize until the blood started seeping through Thomas's shirt that he was even wounded. Yet now here he was, cradling his best friend's head in his lap, promising to take care of his wife and children. As Thomas shut his eyes for the last time, Daniel placed his battle-worn helmet on the ground in respect. Only one thing was going through his head, 

This war must end.